While the proportion of non-religious people is growing in many countries worldwide, many people still believe that religion is a must to have a purpose in life. The ‘nones’, especially the ‘godless’, are sometimes seen to be living a life without direction.
On 28 August 2022, we organized a Humanist Café session to hear from non-religious individuals what their purpose in life is. Facilitators also encouraged peer support to those in need of it. This is the 4th such session in our five-event series “Getting through Life Together”.
The discussion spanned 2.5 hours. We first began with talking about goals in life. Surprisingly, there were several commonalities among the 20+ participants. Some of the recurrent themes are:
- Travel – Many participants expressed their desire to see the world, with some expressing a love for hiking, while others desired to meet new people and experience new cultures.
- Progression – Several participants talked about “doing well in life”, getting good grades and getting a good job (very practical!). Although many had childhood ambitions, many gave up sometime in life. Nonetheless, we actively encouraged each other to follow our lifelong ambitions again before it was too late.
- Doing good – One scenario was brought up to people: What would you do if you have 1 million dollars? Most participants chose one of the 4 options: Investing the money, traveling, buying a house, and even giving it to their parents.
For a couple of participants, they rather appreciate each day as it is, and appreciate each other’s company. To them, happiness comes from living the moment, instead of constantly trying to chase a list of goals.
Fulfilling goals also depends on how people define “success”, and there was some discussion over what “success” is. Generally, most people want to:
- Help others
- Be their authentic selves
- Ensure good health
- Be happy
Interestingly, on purpose itself, some participants also felt it is okay to have:
- No purpose at some points of time in life: We shouldn’t feel ‘guilty’ or ‘weak’ when we don’t have a purpose at certain points of time. Life itself has no inherent meaning, it is what we make of it. Sometimes, it takes time to transit from one purpose to other
- Changing purposes, or many purposes: It is okay to change one’s purpose when the older purpose no longer makes sense. It is also alright to have multiple purposes, because life is multifaceted.
- An unfinished bucket list: An unfinished bucket list ensures that you always have something to aim for. When everything in the bucket list is ticked, life loses meaning.
Participants were asked what they would advise others, especially the younger ones, who are still finding their purpose in life. Some of the advice gathered are:
- Try many things, be willing to get your hands dirty: The more things you try, the more you are able to find what you like, and what you are good at. Do not be afraid to fail.
- Find things you would do at minimum gain: Things that you love doing so much, that you don’t mind being paid very little or even nothing for it, would be the most meaningful to you.
To read about earlier Cafes, click the links below:
- Growing Up as a Freethinker (May)
- Becoming Freethinkers (June)
- Challenges in Life (July)
