Letters to HumanistSG is a column where we reply to appeals for advice/help from non-religious individuals.
| Dear Sir/Mdm, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to seek advice regarding my child, who has recently started learning about religion from friends in school. As a non-religious parent, I respect others’ right to their beliefs, but I want to ensure my child develops a well-rounded perspective without feeling pressured. Could you offer guidance on how to discuss religious topics with my child in a balanced way? I aim to foster an environment of understanding and critical thinking, allowing my child to explore different viewpoints. Any suggestions on age-appropriate resources or conversation starters would be greatly appreciated. My goal is to support my child’s curiosity and growth while emphasizing the importance of empathy, respect, and open-mindedness. Thank you for your time and assistance. Regards, Lin (Name has be redacted for privacy) |
Our reply
Dear Lin,
Thank you for reaching out and for your thoughtful approach to this important issue.
It’s wonderful that you aim to foster an environment of understanding, critical thinking, and open-mindedness for your child. Here are some suggestions that might help:
- Start with a foundation in science and critical thinking. Young children often grasp concrete ideas more easily before moving on to abstract concepts. Encourage curiosity by discussing how the natural world works, which can serve as a basis for exploring more complex topics later on.
- When discussing religion, consider leading by example. Share your values through actions and explanations like, “I do good because it helps others and makes the world a better place.” This helps your child understand morality without relying on religious frameworks.
- Engage in open-ended discussions. When your child asks about religion, respond with questions such as, “What do you think?” This encourages them to explore their thoughts and form their own opinions. It also reinforces the importance of critical thinking.
- Highlight human potential and resilience. Explain that while bad things happen, humans have the power to make positive changes. This can instill a sense of empowerment and responsibility in your child.
- Introduce religion as a spectrum of beliefs. Exposure to different religions can be educational and help your child develop empathy and respect for diverse perspectives. Be present during these discussions to provide guidance and context.
- Teach the Golden Rule: “Treat others as you want to be treated.” This simple yet powerful principle can guide your child’s interactions and understanding of morality.
| [Some books suitable for children in non-religious families] What is humanism? How do I live without a god? And other big questions for kids (Wayland) by Michael Rosen and Annemarie Young (ages 8-14). Belonging and Believing: My Humanist Family (Books at Press) by Gill Vaisey (ages 4-7) – learn about the lived experiences of a young boy and his humanist family Atheism for Kids (Winter House Books) by Jessica Thorpe is a short introduction for younger children to what it means to be an atheist. And for young adults we recommend The Young Atheist’s Handbook by Alom Shaha. Source: Humanist UK |
Remember, teaching is a marathon, not a sprint. Be patient and open to your child’s questions and perspectives. Encourage them to think independently while providing a loving and supportive environment.
I hope these suggestions help. Supporting your child’s curiosity and growth while emphasizing empathy and respect is a commendable goal.
You might also want to read about this support session for non-religious parents: https://humanist.org.sg/humanist-cafe-summary-parenting-for-the-non-religious/
Please feel free to reach out if you need further assistance.
