***

This is a personal sharing by Mdm Norhaiyah Mahmood, President of the Humanist Society (Singapore).

Dr. Lee Wei Ling, a prominent Singaporean neurologist and the daughter of Singapore’s first Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew, passed away on 09 Oct 2024. Her many accomplishments in life and her dedication to helping others are remembered by many.

Not many are aware that she was also one of the very few public figures in Singapore who is openly atheist. We recall Dr. Lee’s thoughtful column from 31 March 2013 in The Sunday Times, titled An Atheist ‘Sent by God’.

In this piece, she shared the story of helping a patient, R, who had been exploited and faced legal troubles. Through the efforts of a psychiatrist and a law firm offering pro bono services, Dr. Lee helped reduce R’s sentence from jail time to a fine.

R expressed deep gratitude, calling her “a person sent by God” and gifting her a clay tablet with an inspiring message. In Dr Lee’s own words:

“I continue to take solace in this story, most especially at Easter. In this cynical world, there are still people who want to do what is right, even if doing so will not profit them personally, as my psychiatrist friend and the lawyers who defended R pro bono show. This gives me hope that we can develop into a compassionate society no matter what our religion, or whether or not we believe in God.”

Dr Lee Wei Ling

Her column can be read in these two blog entries:

• https://heresthenews.blogspot.com/2013/04/an-atheist-by-god.html
• https://ifonlysingaporeans.blogspot.com/2013/04/an-atheist-sent-by-god.html

When Dr Lee’s passing was announced, her family requested no flowers, and all donations were directed to a list of charities that were close to her heart.

***

This brings us to some thoughts about non-religious funerals. In many non-religious funerals, the deceased (even famous personalities) are remembered without specific labels.

In death, the non-religious often don’t emphasize their non-religiosity, nor do they feel the need to. There were no specifically non-religious “verses” pasted on obituary notices for comfort or blessing. If the living chooses, they will be remembered for the person they were, their impact on society, and how they made others feel.

However, one unintended consequence of being silent about non-religiosity is that few people know how non-religious individuals live their values, beyond personal testimonies, leaving much of the broader narrative unfilled. This narrative, unfilled, could be filled by various misconceptions, such as the non-religious being immoral and uncharitable.

We were surprised that Dr. Lee chose to be open about her atheism many years ago. After all, she is a prominent public figure with two Prime Ministers in her immediate family. And while one fifth of the country is non-religious, a huge majority are still religious.

For individuals who face challenges being openly atheist, due to opposition from conservative family members and community, her openness on the national broadsheet was a breath of fresh air.

We are also happy that in her passing, the family has encouraged donations to a list of charities. This is generous and meaningful.

Our deepest sympathies go out to the Lee family. May Dr Lee rest in peace.

[3 min read]

***

The International Humanist Conference 2024 was held from 30 Aug to 1 Sep 2024, including the Humanist International General Assembly on the final day. The theme for this year’s Conference is Secularism and Interfaith Harmony.

Singapore is the third Asian country to host a global Humanist event since the first World Humanist Congress began in 1952 in Amsterdam, Netherlands. In 1999, the World Humanist Congress was held in Mumbai, India. In 2015, the General Assembly was held in Manila, Philippines. 

More than 100 participants from all around the world attended the conference, including about 80+ foreign delegates. This summary captures the tours, social night and dinner from 30-31 Aug.

(For summary of the main conference, read the summary here)

Tours on 30 August

***

To kick off the IHC, three engaging tours were held. The first, the My River Valley Heritage Tour, organized by MyCommunity—a non-profit dedicated to preserving community stories—introduced participants to Singapore’s historic multiracial and multireligious sites, including the Former National Theatre, Sri Thendayuthapani Temple, Teochew Building, 38 Oxley Rd, Former Chung Cheng High School, and Hong San See Temple.

***

Next, delegates visited the Harmony in Diversity Gallery (HDG), established by the Ministry of Home Affairs with community partners to celebrate Singapore’s rich religious diversity.

The gallery features four sections: “Journey of Faith,” “Seeking What Is Common,” “Many Faiths,” and “One People.” The knowledgeable guides enhanced the experience, and delegates provided overwhelmingly positive feedback, finding the exhibits enlightening and insightful regarding Singapore’s approach to religious harmony. We extend our heartfelt thanks to Mr. James Low, Senior Consultant at the Ministry of Home Affairs, who warmly welcomed our delegates and joined our social night, enriching our event further.

***

The final stop was the Religious Rehabilitation Group (RRG) Gallery. The RRG comprises voluntary Islamic scholars and teachers focused on counseling and rehabilitating radicalized individuals.

The gallery showcases their extensive efforts in this area, providing insights into community-led initiatives that prioritize compassion, education, and dialogue. For us humanists, understanding the role of religious and community leaders in building resilience against extremism is essential. The RRG’s commitment to restoring societal harmony aligns with our values of reason, ethics, and human dignity. We thank the RRG for an informative and engaging tour, which deepened our appreciation for the multifaceted approaches needed to foster peace in an increasingly complex world.

Social Night (30 Aug) and Dinner (31 Aug)

***

As the first day concluded, conference participants gathered in Bras Basah Room 2F for the Social Night—an evening filled with memorable performances and laughter. The organizers adopted an “open microphone” format, allowing anyone to share their stories.

***

This led to spontaneous sharing from about 30-40 attendees, with informal musical performances included. Our President, Nora, delivered a heartfelt rendition of “Where Is It Written” by Barbra Streisand, contributing to the evening’s memorable atmosphere.

The Main Conference took place all day on 31 Aug. Afterward, delegates relaxed at the post-conference dinner held at Enchanted Gardens, a restaurant in Lavender.

***

Delegates from around the globe, alongside local Singaporean Humanists, enjoyed mingling and a lively performance by a local Malay band, with delegates singing along joyfully.

***

Awards were also presented to local volunteers and Humanists worldwide in recognition of their contributions.

Socialising beyond the IHC

Beyond the Conference, the delegates also took the opportunity to travel around Singapore and check out the various landmarks. Here are some photos!

***

[5 min read]

The International Humanist Conference 2024 was held over three days from 30 Aug to 1 Sep 2024.

Singapore is the third Asian country to host a global Humanist event since the first World Humanist Congress began in 1952 in Amsterdam, Netherlands. In 1999, the World Humanist Congress was held in Mumbai, India. In 2015, the General Assembly was held in Manila, Philippines. 

The theme for this year’s Conference is Secularism and Interfaith Harmony, with the Main Conference being held on the second day (31 Aug) at HUONE, an event space nestled in the vibrant Clarke Quay district. More than 100 participants from all around the world attended the conference, including about 80+ foreign delegates.

We are very grateful for Mr Kelvin Wan of K Pixel Photography for contributing photography for this historic event.

Opening Remarks

***

Ms Norhaiyah Mahmood (‘Nora’), Humanist Society (Singapore) President, gave an opening speech, welcoming delegates to the IHC. She said it was an honor to host this gathering as the President of the HSS and thanked everyone for their dedication to humanism. She briefly recapped the tours the day before (more info here) and explained that these tours underscored the conference’s theme of secularism and interfaith harmony, reminding us of the importance of mutual respect and dialogue.

***

Next, Humanist International (HI) President, Mr Andrew Copson (above) gave his opening remarks. He expressed delight that the International Humanist Conference is here in Singapore for the first time, and he noted how the local SG humanist movement has gone from “strength to strength” since its early days 14 years ago.

Andrew said Singaporean Humanists have become a great inspiration for others in the region, encouraging them to organize and take bold steps. On the chosen theme of interfaith and secularism, Andrew said that humanists value personal choice and the right to pursue a good life without harming others, naturally leading to a more diverse world. Managing this diversity is essential, and secularism plays a key role in fostering common ground amid diversity.

Watch a video of the Nora’s and Andrew’s opening remarks here.

What followed was 6 presentations and 2 panel sessions, divided into morning and afternoon sessions.

Morning Session

Next up, there were 3 speakers in the morning.

***

The first presentation is by Dr Paul Hedges (above), Associate Professor in Interreligious Studies in the Study of Inter-Religious Relations in Plural Societies at Nanyang Technological University. Dr Paul offered a framework for understanding the necessary types of dialogue to engage both groups. He clarified key terms such as “atheist” and “religious people” and differentiated interreligious dialogue from interworldview dialogue. Dr Paul emphasized that such dialogues are vital for addressing social cohesion, environmental concerns, and peacebuilding, especially in Singapore.

Watch a video of the speech here.

***

Mr Mohamed Imran Mohamed Taib (above), Founding Director, of Dialogue Centre, examined the phenomenon of “falling out” of religion and how attitudes towards faith are evolving globally, including in Singapore.

Imran concluded that improved dialogue between religious and non-religious individuals requires epistemic humility, reformed institutional leadership, and the protection of religious and non-religious freedoms through a democratic political culture.

***

Ms Nazhath Faheema (above), Founder, Hash.peace shared personal encounters as a religious person with individuals identifying as atheist, agnostic, spiritual but non-religious, and non-religious.

Faheema emphasized the use of interfaith dialogue through the Trialogue method, which creates a “third space” for deeper understanding, breaking down binary oppositions. She also discussed the “temporary suspension of belief” technique, which allows for open, judgment-free dialogue, fostering empathy and common ground.

Watch a video of the speech here.

Panel Session #1

After the morning session, there was a panel session featuring the 3 morning speakers. The discussion revolves around how to build mutual respect and cooperation between the religious and the non-religious in an increasingly diverse society. The 1hr panel session can be viewed here:

After the panel, the delegates enjoyed a delicious lunch and engaged in networking.

***

Afternoon Session

After lunch, there were 3 more speakers.

***

Dr. Ichioka Takashi (above) presented his research on interracial and interfaith relations in Singapore since 2013, identifying two main approaches: friendship building and dialogues. Friendship building involves organizing race and faith-based events, such as Iftar and the Dumpling Festival, where leaders foster mutual friendships.

However, opportunities for mingling beyond community leaders are limited. Dialogues, in contrast, bring together people from various backgrounds to discuss sensitive topics in a civil manner, fostering deeper mutual understanding.

Dr. Ichioka emphasized that both methods are important: friendship-building events increase participation at the community level, while dialogues deepen understanding. He concluded that interfaith activities should combine both approaches to enhance the breadth and depth of interfaith relations.

Watch a video of the speech here.

***

Next, there was a heartfelt sharing from Dr Pepper Lim (above), Senior Manager, Educator and Author, about his experience in Malaysia. Dr. Lim went through the history of Malaysia, including the tensions between the three major races (Malay, Chinese, Indian), his experience with Malay culture, and the growing Islamic religious conservatism in Malaysia, where Islam is synonymous with the racial identity of being a Malay. He also shared his views on the impact of conservatism on freedom of expression, religious pluralism, and the rights of minorities in Malaysia.

Watch a video of the speech here.

***

Mr Paul Tobin (above), founding President of the Humanist Society (Singapore), addressed the issue of offence-taking in his speech. He highlighted the challenges humanists face in religious environments, where the non-belief aspect of humanism often creates tension. Tobin posed three key questions:

• Can offence be avoided?
• Should it be avoided?
• And can one be free from being offended?

He argued that offence-taking can be used strategically to halt discussions, as it garners sympathy and silences criticism. Tobin urged people to develop thicker skins, as the offence is inevitable, and to reject retaliation. He called for rethinking the concept of “respecting each other’s beliefs,” advocating instead for respecting the right to hold different beliefs or non-beliefs. This, he argued, is key to fostering tolerance.

Watch a video of the speech here.

Panel Session #2

The 2nd Panel session discusses: How can we better engage and protect non-religious individuals at risk?

Mr Gary McLelland (above), HI Chief Executive, shared about The Humanists at Risk programme by Humanists International (HI). Gary shared there are 3 domains:

1. Personal domain: HI supports individual humanists facing prosecution for their beliefs. Last year alone, 163 people reached out for help, including monetary support, legal aid, and assistance with asylum—a significant challenge for a small organization.
2. Social domain: While HI is effective in supporting persecuted individuals, there is a need to build stronger communities around them, especially for those relocating to the West who face difficulties integrating. Creating a community that provides ongoing support is vital.
3. Policy and legal domain: HI advocates for freedom of religion or belief at institutions like the UN, a contentious issue in many parts of the world where non-religious individuals are often marginalized.

Addressing humanist challenges requires efforts in all three domains, as no single aspect can solve these complex issues alone.

The rest of the 2nd panel session (50mins) can be viewed here:

The Main Conference concluded around 530pm with delegates heading off for the Dinner at V Hotel Lavender.

Appreciation to HUONE

***

For a successful event, the location and venue play a crucial role, and HUONE exceeded our expectations in every way. The staff at HUONE were not only courteous and friendly but also incredibly accommodating, even when we had some last-minute requests.

Their professionalism and willingness to go the extra mile made a significant difference in the overall experience. We truly appreciate their support and dedication, which contributed to the success of our event.

* * *

Religion can be a source of comfort and support for many, but it also has a dark side unbeknownst to most. Melvin knows first hand the dangers of dogmatism and intolerance.

Melvin Lim, 26, had led the majority of his life in the church.

He was brought into the fold at the tender age of 4, long before he “knew any better”. The churches he attended were of the more fundamentalist variety. Melvin describes their extremism as more “insidious” than other churches, and their rules can get inordinately strict. For instance, they prohibit the use of electric guitars and drums in worship music as they consider them sinful, and they will excommunicate anyone who supports the LGBT movement.

Melvin’s childhood was governed by fear and filled with restrictions. His freedom was severely curtailed; and the various means and mediums for him to have fraternized with his peers in school, or eke out a sense of belonging in secular settings, were thwarted by the various taboos set in place by his church, such as the condemnation of the popular childhood media franchise — Pokémon, as satanic, and leaving him bereft of knowledge considered common to his peers, such as music that united them, but that he was prohibited from enjoying as they were not hymns — or in his church’s words, “Glorified the flesh”.

Melvin found his world shrinking as the things that brought him joy were slowly wrested from him, one by one.

The first cracks

The first cracks he discovered in Christianity is that they teach children at an early age how to hate with a capital “H”. Homosexuals and transgendered persons are seen as abominations. “It did not stop there. In fact, any professing Christian who says otherwise was a so-called false christian and we were also told to hate them, to shun them and avoid them,” he said.

He lived in fear of incurring the wrath of God and being condemned to burn for eternity in hell. When the prospect of eternal suffering is drilled into the minds of impressionable children, it becomes deeply ingrained and difficult to expunge. Not only was it the cause of nightmares, it also warped the way he constructed his sense of morality, such that he acted out of fear rather than the desire to better himself. Despite starting to fear questioning the wrong things, even more terrifying at that time was the fact that said desire to question such matters could not be quenched — a mark of not ‘truly being saved’.

The other children in his church were no better off; if they were not as godly as their parents wished them to be, they would be pulled aside and singled out for shaming and name-calling. Under such an oppressive environment, the children’s natural curiosity was stamped out.

* * *

The Black Sheep

By the age of 12, skepticism had started to creep in.

It started off with innocent questions such as “Why is Pokémon bad?” It then transitioned to questions challenging the veracity of the Bible:

“How do you know that what is written in the Bible is actually true? Is there any demonstration of it? Or is there any way I can actually feel the effects in my life?”

The church spoke of the Holy Spirit who is supposed to help believers experience God. Try as he might, Melvin was never able to experience this feeling and he could not comprehend how others could feel it. When he asked about it, all he received was non-committal answers telling him “if it happens, it happens” or “it’s not time yet”.

Later on, he progressed to questions of logic such as “Who made God?” and “What difference is there between the Bible and a fairytale or historical fiction?” It was always hand-waved away with “faith”. He could not tell the difference between faith and blind faith, leaving him dissatisfied and disillusioned.

By then, Melvin was all but a Christian in name only. He felt like an outsider within the church. Older members would show him concern and build rapport with him, only to attempt to lead him back to their straight and narrow.

“To put it bluntly, I was a ghost member of the church, so to speak. I was not a member that the church would have wanted,” he admitted.

He would leave church services surreptitiously and be caught and punished for it. He then tried to appease his mother and made a sincere attempt to see where she was coming from. He went to his pastor’s office – even during weekdays – to ask questions, but he too, had no answers.

* * *

Leaving the Fold: Deconstruction

After he had completed National Service (NS), Melvin made the leap to come out publicly as an agnostic despite the ensuing backlash he knew would come his way. His mother had tried to guilt trip him and threaten him with hell in a bid to pressure him to return to the fold, but he stood his ground. “You know what, the way I think is no longer the prerogative of my mom’s. My parents set out to do their utmost to raise an independent, mature child. I will not deny their efforts.”

The process of deconstructing and re-examining the beliefs he had known all his life was no easy feat. For years he was denied peace of mind from being emotionally coerced into believing that hell existed.

To deprogram himself of this fear, he reasoned his way out.

Firstly, since no one has been able to definitively prove that they had died and gone to hell and came back to tell the tale, he concluded that his fears were unfounded, akin to a child being scared of the monster under the bed.

Secondly, he asked himself what was so special about the Christian hell that demanded that he be scared of it, when he is not afraid of the Buddhist 18 levels of hell, or the Greek hell, or the Nordic hell?

He believes the greatest thing he had been deprived of was the opportunity to develop his decision making faculties. The church instructs its members to pray or read the Bible for answers, but this hardly helps one to make sound decisions. Melvin had missed out on a lot of searching, introspection and reflection that could have been honed over the years when he was still young and therefore more cognitively open and absorbent of new information.

* * *

An Understanding Long Overdue

Melvin had to learn to construct frameworks of his own, and he owes a lot to secular humanists Matt Dillahunty and Seth Andrews for pointing the way. He wanted his journey through deconstruction to be what his upbringing in the church was not—namely, he did not want it to be a one-way transmission of dogmas from an authority figure in an echo chamber.

So instead of only tuning in to atheist voices, he listened to debates between theists and atheists. He would then decide whose views and logic were more reasonable and compelling and more closely aligned with what he believed a decent person would follow.

In leaving behind the black and white moral absolutism of the Biblical commandments, he discovered a new paradigm that was founded on more logical, adaptable and inclusive grounds—secular moralism.

Objective morality says that there is a greater good that we are supposed to adhere to, whether it is passed down from a higher authority or simply how the universe is supposed to work. Secular moralism centres human well-being and anything that works toward this objective is moral.

This model helps us make moral decisions from a more logical perspective as opposed to an emotional one. Furthermore, even if it is applied from a perspective of selfishness or self-centredness, it still can lead to moral behaviour, which makes it easier to understand and uphold compared to other models.

* * *

Moving forward

Experiencing the brunt of religious abuse first hand has motivated Melvin to join the Humanist Society (Singapore) to provide a support system to others seeking to deconstruct their faith.

He knows how challenging it can be to leave a religious community that has known all their lives, and how much more difficult it is to catch up on developing and repairing one’s damaged faculties of reason and logic after a better half of a lifetime lived with the wholesale acceptance of fallacies and biases wrapped in the alluring veneer of comforting ‘faith’.

There are not many dedicated avenues for support and education in this regard, and Melvin hopes that he can meet this unaddressed need for the people he sees his past self in — and carry forward just how others too, refused to give up on him.

Death is a terrifying notion for all of us. It is one of the greatest unknowns of life and every major religion has sought to answer this fundamental question of what lies in the great beyond. For those who do not accept the existence of an afterlife, it can be unsettling to entertain the idea that death is the final end, that we will return to nothingness. Roy shares his story and thoughts on this matter:

***

Having lost most of his immediate family and having had some close encounters with death himself, Roy is uniquely placed to offer his insights on this matter. 

Upon officially renouncing Islam in 2017, the biggest issue on Roy’s mind was how to conduct his funeral. 

He discovered that you could either pledge to donate your organs or your whole body to the National Organ Transplant Unit (NOTU). For the latter option, NOTU will first harvest all the organs that are suitable for transplant and the remainder of the cadaver is used for medical training. 

Roy likens it to being a “silent mentor” to the students so that they can become skilled doctors in the future. He believes that this is the most meaningful choice as it will allow him to continue contributing to humanity long after he is gone. 

You can learn more about organ donation here at liveon.gov.sg.

***

Donating organs after death has become a favourite talking point of his whenever he meets other ex-Muslims. Not only will this spare their families the shock from realising that their loved one cannot be buried in the Muslim cemetery with the rest of the family, it will also relieve them of the extra work and financial burden of making alternative funerary arrangements while they are in the midst of grieving. 

“When I die, I don’t need my body anymore, it is a shell of who I was, so why not give it to someone who desperately needs it?” Roy asked. 

Muslims, however, insist that the body of the deceased must be buried in as close to perfect a condition as possible. This stems from the desire for their loved ones to have a fully intact and functional body in the afterlife. 

Roy still vividly recalls what happened when his father passed away when he was 6. His father had died at home and when the ambulance came, the entire family vehemently refused to let them take his body away to the morgue. He overheard his relatives saying “if they take him away to do the autopsy, they will take out his eyes, then he won’t have his eyes in the afterlife.” 

As he got older, Roy decided that these fears were unfounded.

The latest fatwa by MUIS states that it is permissible for Muslims to be included in the opt-out Human Organ Transplant Act.

End-of-life Planning

Having lost many members of his family, Roy is acutely aware of the fact that death can strike at any moment. He has already settled all his affairs, from drafting up his will to even writing his own eulogy. Knowing he has covered all his bases gives him immense reassurance. 

Did you know the government has launched a website for end-of-life planning? You can write in your wishes at mylegacy.life.gov.sg.

***

Roy wants to normalise having conversations about death. For most people, death is a deeply unsettling topic that they would rather sweep under the carpet. But for him, talking openly about death removes the tension and worries. In a mixture of seriousness and levity, he told his close friends “If I die, make sure you do my memorial the way I want it, you don’t f*** it up ah?”

Humour is a great tool to diffuse awkwardness and temper sadness. When they were preparing his late brother for his funeral, Roy made jokes about his memories of him. He wanted his family to celebrate his brother’s memory instead of feeling pity. 

“Of course I was crying non-stop after the funeral,” he said. “You have to cry, you have to laugh. Life is always constantly changing, I don’t need to be in the same state of sadness all the time.”

Handling Grief As An Irreligious Person

Roy is very well-acquainted with the cycle of life and death, from bidding goodbye to family members to welcoming new additions to the family. It gives him the reassurance that when the time comes for him or any of his loved ones, he knows how to grieve and let go properly.

The first time that grief hit him very hard was when he had lost his grandmother at 15. It was so painful that it triggered his first suicide attempt. 

He kept it to himself because he did not know how to talk about it and he did not feel anybody would listen to him. He dealt with his grief by offering a prayer to his grandmother after his five daily prayers. However, consoling himself with the thought that she is now in a better place did not offer much respite; he likens it to a painkiller that only brings temporary relief, but the memories and feelings will come surging back. 

He believes in honouring our emotions by accepting them and experiencing them fully without holding back. Grief is a difficult process but it will come to pass. When his mother passed away, he cried and cried every day for three months straight until he had no tears left to shed. The sadness is gone, and all that is left is his memories of his mother. 

Click here to read Roy’s tribute to his mother

***

Contemplations About Death

“Memento Mori, Memento Vivere”—Remember you will die, remember how to live. 

This mantra is a constant reminder that life and death are always next to each other. 

It’s always on Roy’s mind that death can come at any time. Sometimes, during his work as a Grab driver, he experienced near-misses on the road. In 2022, Roy had a severe dengue infection with a week-long high fever.

Back then, he asked himself: “Is this how I’m going to die? It sucks lah, but if this is how I’m going to die, so be it, just let me die. If you’re in so much pain, the only thing you want is relief.” 

Knowing that one day he will no longer be on this planet gives him a certain sort of relief—no more bills to pay, no more problems to worry about, no more sadness to face. 

“Every man has two deaths, when he is buried in the ground and the last time someone says his name.”―Ernest Hemingway. 

It is human nature to want to be remembered long after we are gone, but realistically, the memories of us will die with the ones who knew us. Roy does not desire to be remembered forever, but he takes comfort in being remembered in the short term for making a difference in the lives of others.

One thing that gives him anxiety is that if either him or his brother dies, the other will be left all alone by himself as the sole survivor of their immediate family. 

He was supposed to meet his other brother for a meal but he could not find the time. When the news came that he passed away from a sudden heart attack, he regretted not seeing him for one last time. He now makes a conscious effort to spend as much time as possible with his surviving brother.

Read Roy’s reflections after his elder brother’s passing

***

Witnessing the passing of his family one by one was a wake-up call for Roy. He started being more intentional about his time and his priorities. He has been working through his bucket list, learning to play the piano and saving up for a trip to England to watch Manchester United play live. 

He also became more health-conscious and reduced the frequency of going drinking with his friends. 

In the past, whenever he had quarrels with his wife, he would not talk to her for a few days. But now, they strive to avoid confrontation and be more forgiving of each others’ mistakes. Every day, they say goodbye properly when they leave for work and kiss each other good night. If one of them dies, at least their spouse’s last memory is something happy that will uplift them and help them through the grieving process. 

Stepping Up in Times of Crisis

At the peak of the Covid-19 pandemic, Roy was part of the pioneer group of Grab drivers who stepped forward to ferry patients to the test centres, hospitals and polyclinics. 

Many of his elderly colleagues wanted to play it safe. During the early stages, not much was known about the virus and most people were rightfully scared of the unknown. 

Later on, while seeing people becoming severely afflicted and dying did make him worried, he had the reassurance that if he followed the decontamination protocols to the T, nothing would go wrong. 

Death and grief are understandably difficult topics, but it need not be this way if we are equipped with the right mental tools and have made the necessary preparations, as Roy has shown us.

This is a reflection penned by the Humanist Society President, Nora.

Pink Dot 2024 was truly rewarding. It was a vibrant event where I had the pleasure of engaging with new faces and introducing them to the Humanist Society of Singapore (HSS) and our activities. Many expressed that our society is exactly what they have been searching for.

At our booth, we were delighted to offer free fabric coasters and lanyards to all visitors. These items were made from leftover or donated materials, supporting our commitment to sustainability and the repurposing of resources. It’s part of our broader dedication to the zero-waste movement, particularly concerning food and fabric materials.

Reflecting on my first Pink Dot experience back in 2022, it was quite a cultural revelation. Having learned about it only through social media while I was in Malaysia, I wasn’t fully prepared for the dazzling array of expressive and colorful attire.

Initially, it was a bit of a shock, but soon enough, I found myself embracing this vibrant display of diversity. It underscored for me that true diversity goes beyond mere acceptance; it’s about understanding and celebrating our differences.

My daughter once asked me my thoughts on same-sex marriage. I believe that marriage is essentially a social contract, and there’s no inherent reason it must be limited to a man and a woman. To me, marriage is about selecting the right partner to navigate life’s journey with. The core of it is love and mutual respect, and true love transcends gender boundaries.

I recall a visit from an American friend and his partner, an Australian, in Kuala Lumpur. They joined us for dinner, and we had a wonderful evening filled with laughter alongside my daughter and extended family. Interestingly, I hadn’t told my children about the couple’s marriage beforehand. A week later, during another family dinner, my husband revealed that the two men were legally married to each other.

The initial surprise on my children’s faces quickly gave way to understanding. We talked about how their view of the couple shouldn’t change just because they learned about their marriage. They were the same kind and entertaining individuals we had enjoyed dinner with. It was a valuable lesson in seeing beyond labels and appreciating people for who they truly are.

With Thailand’s recent legalization of same-sex marriage, it makes me wonder how long it will take for Singapore to follow suit.

My day at Pink Dot ended with a meaningful conversation with an insightful young woman from a conservative Indian Hindu background. She was grappling with questions about her religion and the challenges of gaining her parents’ acceptance. We discussed the importance of maintaining peace within the family and finding ways to compromise and resolve conflicts without anger. She left feeling more at peace and agreed to continue our conversation in the future.

Attending Pink Dot has been enriching, and I look forward to supporting and participating in this event for as long as it continues.

Managing the Humanist Society can be exhausting. Occasionally, you may encounter a fellow member, volunteer, or Exco member who is overly critical, leading to breakdowns in goodwill and extended conflict. If left unmanaged, this can affect cohesion within the Society and impact mental health.

When this happens, regardless of which “side” you’re on, remember the following:

1. People Here Are Inherently Good

The Humanist Society is a non-profit organization run entirely by volunteers. Most people join out of goodwill, not for financial gain.

They generally seek the same goals as you, though they may have different ideas on how to achieve them.

2. Find Common Ground

If people care enough about the Society to engage in disagreements, they share a foundational connection with it.

In the heat of conflict, remind each other of the common principles you both uphold. It’s not worth damaging relationships over a few disagreements.

3. Communicate Your Feelings

The other party may not realize they are being difficult or that their delivery is hurtful.

When tensions rise, set aside the content of the disagreement and discuss feelings. Share openly how their actions have affected you and suggest better ways to communicate.

4. Seek Help When Needed

The Humanist community is larger than you might think, and the Society should not be reduced to a battleground for two individuals.

If stuck in a prolonged disagreement, seek a third-party opinion to mediate or provide affirmation. People are busy but will respond if you need help.

5. Remember what the majority feels

A small percentage of people cause the majority of challenges. In reality, most Society members are supportive and cooperative.

Don’t get disillusioned by criticism from a few individuals.

Conversely, if the majority is concerned of an issue, then save your energy for those issues.

6. Prioritize Face-to-Face Communication

Nothing beats face-to-face interaction for resolving conflicts and managing difficult behaviors. It fosters empathy and understanding often lost in digital or written communication.

Encourage private discussions at Humanist Society events, and involve a third party if necessary.

7. Assess Relevance

Disagreements over the best way to run HSS can be irrelevant if rival arguments are not feasible due to rules in the Constitution of the Humanist Society, and the Societies Act.

For instance, debates on running a charity are moot because HSS is registered as a Society, not a Charity.

Read the Constitution, and ensure the disagreement is even pertinent.

8. Focus on the Long Term

Some disagreements are too inconsequential to have a lasting impact.

Ask yourself if the issue will matter in five years.

This perspective helps you refocus on what truly matters.

Don’t end up missing the forest for the trees.

On June 22, 2024, the Humanist Society of Singapore commemorated World Humanist Day  OnePeople.sg.

World Humanist Day is an annual celebration promoting the positive values of humanism and addressing global issues. For 4 hours, attendees engaged in insightful discussions and presentations.

The event commenced with registration at 12:30 PM followed by an opening speech where President Nora provided a brief introduction to the Humanist Society of Singapore (HSS), highlighting its track record and ongoing activities.

Guest speaker Dr. Hakim Young gave his presentation on “Embracing Humanity: Beyond Binary Ideals.” Dr. Young emphasized the importance of kindness and empathy in human interactions, challenging traditional moral frameworks and advocating for a more inclusive society.

Nora presented “Humanistic Perspectives in End-of-Life Issues.” Her presentation explored the humanistic approach to terminal illness, emphasizing dignity, autonomy, and holistic care. Nora highlighted principles such as respecting autonomy in end-of-life decisions and providing compassionate support to individuals and their families facing difficult circumstances.

Founding President Paul Tobin delivered a thought-provoking presentation on the “Future of Humanism.” Paul highlighted global trends, including the rise of non-religious populations worldwide (even in Middle East and Southeast Asia) and in Singapore. He said that in the future, humanism will have to make itself relevant to social justice causes, environmental conservation, and ethical considerations in emerging technologies.

Paul gave three major conclusions: affirming the enduring presence of humanists and non-religious individuals in Singapore, advocating for their role in shaping societal advancements, and addressing emerging ethical challenges posed by technologies like artificial intelligence and transhumanism.

The event had panel discussion at 3:00 PM, where participants explored strategies for the Humanist Society to remain relevant in a rapidly changing world. Discussions revolved around community engagement, education initiatives, and advocacy efforts to promote humanistic values across diverse demographics.

Throughout the afternoon, attendees engaged in thoughtful dialogue, reflecting on the principles of humanism and their application in contemporary issues.