Letters to HumanistSG is a column where we reply to appeals for advice/help from non-religious individuals.

Our reply

Dear Lin,

Thank you for reaching out and for your thoughtful approach to this important issue.

It’s wonderful that you aim to foster an environment of understanding, critical thinking, and open-mindedness for your child. Here are some suggestions that might help:

• Start with a foundation in science and critical thinking. Young children often grasp concrete ideas more easily before moving on to abstract concepts. Encourage curiosity by discussing how the natural world works, which can serve as a basis for exploring more complex topics later on.

• When discussing religion, consider leading by example. Share your values through actions and explanations like, “I do good because it helps others and makes the world a better place.” This helps your child understand morality without relying on religious frameworks.

• Engage in open-ended discussions. When your child asks about religion, respond with questions such as, “What do you think?” This encourages them to explore their thoughts and form their own opinions. It also reinforces the importance of critical thinking.

• Highlight human potential and resilience. Explain that while bad things happen, humans have the power to make positive changes. This can instill a sense of empowerment and responsibility in your child.

• Introduce religion as a spectrum of beliefs. Exposure to different religions can be educational and help your child develop empathy and respect for diverse perspectives. Be present during these discussions to provide guidance and context.

• Teach the Golden Rule: “Treat others as you want to be treated.” This simple yet powerful principle can guide your child’s interactions and understanding of morality.
  

Remember, teaching is a marathon, not a sprint. Be patient and open to your child’s questions and perspectives. Encourage them to think independently while providing a loving and supportive environment.

I hope these suggestions help. Supporting your child’s curiosity and growth while emphasizing empathy and respect is a commendable goal.

You might also want to read about this support session for non-religious parents: https://humanist.org.sg/humanist-cafe-summary-parenting-for-the-non-religious/

Please feel free to reach out if you need further assistance.

Letters to HumanistSG is a column where we reply to appeals for advice/help from non-religious individuals.

Our reply

Dear TY,

I’m truly sorry to hear how stressed you’re feeling. The final year of school is demanding, and adding tuition on top of your long school hours can be overwhelming!

It’s important to recognize that you are not alone in this struggle. While your friends find solace in their faith and prayer groups, there are other ways to find support and strength.

• Remember that you’ve incredible inner strength, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.
• Remind yourself that you’ve love and support from your family and friends.
• Celebrate small wins, no matter how minor they may seem.
• Practice self-compassion, acknowledging you are only human and need rest at times.

Remember, things will keep changing. The challenges you face now will eventually pass. Embrace perseverance and keep moving forward, even when the path seems difficult. Humanists believe in the power of the human spirit to overcome obstacles. You have the resilience within you to navigate this tough period.

If you ever need to talk or seek advice, the Humanist Society is here to support you. The Humanist Society has monthly meetings where you can connect with others who share your perspectives and experiences.

Surrounding yourself with people who understand your journey can provide a sense of belonging and emotional support.

All the best to your revision. Ganbatte!

Letters to HumanistSG is a column where we reply to appeals for advice/help from non-religious individuals.

Our reply

Dear YT,

I’m deeply sorry to hear about your dad’s condition.

This is an incredibly challenging time, and your desire to comfort him without resorting to religious approaches shows a great deal of respect for his wishes.

In these final months, the most valuable thing you can do is to be present and attentive. Spend time listening to his concerns, fears, and memories.

Engaging in conversations about his life, the things he’s proud of, and the relationships he’s cherished can be very comforting. This helps affirm the meaning and value of his life.

Encourage him to express his thoughts and feelings openly. Sometimes, articulating worries and fears can provide a sense of relief.

Assist him in settling his affairs if he wishes, and reassure him that his loved ones will be taken care of.

Don’t worry if you don’t have the answers for him. The goal is to help him find his own sense of closure and reassurance.

Your presence and empathy can offer profound comfort, helping him to feel valued and loved in his final days.

Letters to HumanistSG is a column where we reply to appeals for advice/help from non-religious individuals.

Our reply

Hi Haley,

Thank you for confiding in me during this challenging time. Your struggle with reconciling your non-religiosity with the expectations of your deeply religious family is understandably difficult.

You are not alone. Every year, there are many people who have left religion and I have many of them at the Humanist Society today. Like you, they love their family and they don’t want to disappoint them.

There are a few ways to navigate this situation. Firstly, you can weigh the pros and cons of coming out to your family.

Pros:

• Being open about your non-religiosity allows you to live authentically and more happily, free from the burden of pretending to follow beliefs you no longer believe.
• Being free from religious rituals also frees up time and energy to learn other philosophies, leading to personal growth.
• Declaring your non-religiosity earlier gives your family more time to accept you for who you are.

Some cons:

• Your family might never accept your non-religiosity, leading to prolonged conflict. You could be forced to live separately.
• Backlash or ostracism from your community could impact your social and emotional well-being.
• If the majority of your friends are from the same religion. you could lose a large number of friends within a short time.

While deciding the best course of action to take, there are some things you can do to prepare yourself for an eventual transition.

• Ensure you are financially independent, so you have the means to move out.
• Build new networks in new communities that accept you for who you are.
• Build mental resilience, cultivating healthy ways to cope with stress and rejection.

In worst cases, where acceptance is not possible, consider being a non-practising member of your religious community as a compromise. Above all, remember to prioritize your own well-being and happiness as you make this decision. If you need support from the Humanist Society, you are welcome to join our events and seek advice from like-minded people.

Wishing you strength, clarity, and peace as you journey forward.

Hanging out with Humanist on 3 May 2024

We enjoyed yet another delightful evening hangout session. Two new guests joined us, Dr. Bern Johnston and his wife from Penang, who stopped by to say hello. It turns out they are old friends of HSS who had been out of touch for a while but have now reconnected with us. As always, the evening was filled with lively discussions, and our table was one of the more animated ones in the room.

We discussed the session from last month, during which we had to endure a guest who spent two hours arguing that humanism is futile in addressing conflicts like the Gaza war or global issues. Consensus was unanimous among us that we welcome such interventions as a form of entertainment. It seemed apparent that the individual may have been seeking attention and attempting to provoke a reaction from us, but his efforts were met with indifference. Eventually, he left the group.

Note : We have more people actually. Not everybody is in this picture.

Zoomify Fridays on 24 May 2024

Our second Zoomify Friday session. Zoomify Friday is a casual and complimentary online social event designed to connect like-minded individuals and expand your network within the humanist community.

This session, we were delighted to be joined by friends from Malaysia, Indonesia, and the Philippines.

They shared their visions for the future of humanism and recognized HSS as a beacon for the Humanism movement in Southeast Asia. They appreciated Zoomify Fridays as a platform to connect globally and expressed hope that future sessions will attract even more humanists.

We were also joined by another group attending an HSS social event at one of our member’s homes, enjoying a movie night. They shared their thoughts on the film they had just watched about Hypatia of Alexandria.