Managing the Humanist Society can be exhausting. Occasionally, you may encounter a fellow member, volunteer, or Exco member who is overly critical, leading to breakdowns in goodwill and extended conflict. If left unmanaged, this can affect cohesion within the Society and impact mental health.
When this happens, regardless of which “side” you’re on, remember the following:
1. People Here Are Inherently Good
The Humanist Society is a non-profit organization run entirely by volunteers. Most people join out of goodwill, not for financial gain.
They generally seek the same goals as you, though they may have different ideas on how to achieve them.
2. Find Common Ground
If people care enough about the Society to engage in disagreements, they share a foundational connection with it.
In the heat of conflict, remind each other of the common principles you both uphold. It’s not worth damaging relationships over a few disagreements.
3. Communicate Your Feelings
The other party may not realize they are being difficult or that their delivery is hurtful.
When tensions rise, set aside the content of the disagreement and discuss feelings. Share openly how their actions have affected you and suggest better ways to communicate.
4. Seek Help When Needed
The Humanist community is larger than you might think, and the Society should not be reduced to a battleground for two individuals.
If stuck in a prolonged disagreement, seek a third-party opinion to mediate or provide affirmation. People are busy but will respond if you need help.
5. Remember what the majority feels
A small percentage of people cause the majority of challenges. In reality, most Society members are supportive and cooperative.
Don’t get disillusioned by criticism from a few individuals.
Conversely, if the majority is concerned of an issue, then save your energy for those issues.
6. Prioritize Face-to-Face Communication
Nothing beats face-to-face interaction for resolving conflicts and managing difficult behaviors. It fosters empathy and understanding often lost in digital or written communication.
Encourage private discussions at Humanist Society events, and involve a third party if necessary.
7. Assess Relevance
Disagreements over the best way to run HSS can be irrelevant if rival arguments are not feasible due to rules in the Constitution of the Humanist Society, and the Societies Act.
For instance, debates on running a charity are moot because HSS is registered as a Society, not a Charity.
Read the Constitution, and ensure the disagreement is even pertinent.
8. Focus on the Long Term
Some disagreements are too inconsequential to have a lasting impact.
Ask yourself if the issue will matter in five years.
This perspective helps you refocus on what truly matters.
Don’t end up missing the forest for the trees.
