Archives for July 2024

Reflections from Pink Dot 16

7 July 2024 by

This is a reflection penned by the Humanist Society President, Nora.

Pink Dot 2024 was truly rewarding. It was a vibrant event where I had the pleasure of engaging with new faces and introducing them to the Humanist Society of Singapore (HSS) and our activities. Many expressed that our society is exactly what they have been searching for.

At our booth, we were delighted to offer free fabric coasters and lanyards to all visitors. These items were made from leftover or donated materials, supporting our commitment to sustainability and the repurposing of resources. It’s part of our broader dedication to the zero-waste movement, particularly concerning food and fabric materials.

Reflecting on my first Pink Dot experience back in 2022, it was quite a cultural revelation. Having learned about it only through social media while I was in Malaysia, I wasn’t fully prepared for the dazzling array of expressive and colorful attire.

Initially, it was a bit of a shock, but soon enough, I found myself embracing this vibrant display of diversity. It underscored for me that true diversity goes beyond mere acceptance; it’s about understanding and celebrating our differences.

My daughter once asked me my thoughts on same-sex marriage. I believe that marriage is essentially a social contract, and there’s no inherent reason it must be limited to a man and a woman. To me, marriage is about selecting the right partner to navigate life’s journey with. The core of it is love and mutual respect, and true love transcends gender boundaries.

I recall a visit from an American friend and his partner, an Australian, in Kuala Lumpur. They joined us for dinner, and we had a wonderful evening filled with laughter alongside my daughter and extended family. Interestingly, I hadn’t told my children about the couple’s marriage beforehand. A week later, during another family dinner, my husband revealed that the two men were legally married to each other.

The initial surprise on my children’s faces quickly gave way to understanding. We talked about how their view of the couple shouldn’t change just because they learned about their marriage. They were the same kind and entertaining individuals we had enjoyed dinner with. It was a valuable lesson in seeing beyond labels and appreciating people for who they truly are.

With Thailand’s recent legalization of same-sex marriage, it makes me wonder how long it will take for Singapore to follow suit.

My day at Pink Dot ended with a meaningful conversation with an insightful young woman from a conservative Indian Hindu background. She was grappling with questions about her religion and the challenges of gaining her parents’ acceptance. We discussed the importance of maintaining peace within the family and finding ways to compromise and resolve conflicts without anger. She left feeling more at peace and agreed to continue our conversation in the future.

Attending Pink Dot has been enriching, and I look forward to supporting and participating in this event for as long as it continues.

Blog, Featured Articles/Letters

Humans of HumanistSG: Ashwini

7 July 2024 by

Ashwini and her mother, Norhaiyah [ Nora she like to be called ] are active volunteers with the Humanist Society. Nora is the President and Ashwini is her trusty Secretary. Together, they ensure that operations run smoothly and handle everything from the odds and ends to the planning of big events. Ashwini shares her story:

Spiritual but not religious

Ashwini prefers the label of “agnostic” as she considers herself a spiritual person. The 25-year-old believes there is a higher power out there, although she would not call it a god per se.

“It is something that is out there controlling what is happening in the world and how we behave, how we lead our lives, how people treat each other, what life events we face and the people we meet,” she said.

“I wouldn’t say I am idolising this energy form, more so of accepting that it is there and just living together with it. And knowing that we may never be able to explain what this energy form is, but it is just there to keep us alive and sustain us humans.”

Growing up in a Hindu family, there were many things in Hinduism that she questioned, but karma—the belief that you reap what you sow—is something that has stuck with her until now.

“If you do something bad to someone else, someone else—not necessarily the same person—will do something bad to you,” she said. “I think that if I do good to other people, if I help them, if I support them, the good energy will come back to me somehow.”

“I might not expect it but it will come somehow, sometime. That’s why I try to be good as best as I can and not to hurt other people because it will eventually come back to bite me.”

She explains that karma is not necessarily about protecting your self-interest, it is also about being more aware and intentional with your choices, bearing in mind the impact of your actions on the people around you.

After all, we are all part of a deeply intertwined, interdependent whole; actions affecting one can have ripple effects on many. 

Mental health – A cause that is close to her heart

Ashwini is very passionate about mental health and has even minored in Psychology.

During her first year of university, she had a panic attack brought on by the immense stress of adjusting to a new country. Only then did she start attending therapy and taking medication.

This marked a turning point for her and made her realise that mental health is indispensable. While she would not consider herself fully healed and happy now, she has found ways to manage her symptoms and thrive through meditation and journaling.

She is of the opinion that religion is unable to provide an adequate explanation for mental illness—the common refrain being a mentally ill person does not pray enough or is possessed by the devil. Ashwini feels these are not productive nor compassionate ways of seeing the issue, as it pins the blame on the individual for being unwell, when there could be underlying issues we are not aware of.

“Many people have the misconception that people with mental illness are weak and that their lives must be a living hell, but that is not always the case. Not all hope is lost, and if you find ways to cope with it you can also have a happy and successful life. Most crucially, you cannot battle it alone. Much like cancer or other physical illnesses, you need friends and family to support you in your journey to recovery,” she said.

Those who are alone tend to internalise their negative feelings which can be unhealthy and destructive, she adds. It is also vital to find positive avenues to express themselves, whether that be journaling, writing music, or anything that keeps them grounded.

Having struggled with psychological distress herself, Ashwini is sympathetic towards the plight of others in the same boat. She helps with the Society’s Peer Support meetings by coming up with discussion topics, actively contributing to the discussion and taking down notes of what had been discussed.

Doing good for goodness’ sake

Community service has always been a big part of Ashwini’s life.

When she was very young, Nora used to volunteer at a nearby children’s home, and Ashwini celebrated her birthday parties there, so she was close to some of the children growing up. Nora was a volunteer teacher and conducted fundraisers for the home. She even went above and beyond to take in some of the youths who had nowhere to go upon turning 18. She lets them stay in her house in Kuala Lumpur and trains them to work in her side business so that they can be self-sufficient. This way, they are given a second chance at life, a new purpose and a new future.

Inspired by her mother’s compassionate and selfless care for the less fortunate, Ashwini followed in her mother’s footsteps and joined her in tutoring the children during her secondary school days.

This experience stretched her capabilities; not only were some of the children hard to work with, being hyperactive and difficult to explain things to, this is compounded by her lack of training in teaching and managing children.

Still, she found it meaningful as she got to know each of them personally. She was touched by the tenacity and hopefulness of these children, how they were able to make something positive out of their less-than-ideal life circumstances.  She hoped that imparting them with the gift of knowledge could make a difference in their lives. 

Why volunteer with HumanistSG and not other organisations?

While not the most important part of her identity, being non-religious is still significant to her and she desires to be part of a community of like-minded friends.

Furthermore, she is not a fan of religious charities who seek to proselytise the vulnerable populations they are helping, as these beneficiaries are not in a position to reject the help due to their desperate circumstances. They essentially become captive audiences for the religious charities to impose their beliefs onto.

She is of the view that charity and volunteering are not the sole preserves of organised religion, as Humanists too desire to make a difference to society, compelled by an ethical duty to relieve suffering and demonstrate compassion and empathy to all.

“Doing good for goodness’ sake” is the Society’s motto and one that Ashwini firmly stands behind. She is hopeful that if people see humanists actively helping the community, they will realise that they are just as concerned about the welfare of others, and that they genuinely want to live symbiotically with the various religious communities and be part of the collective Singapore story. 

Ashwini points to the manifold benefits of volunteering.

“It is not only the less fortunate who gain from exchange; by cultivating our compassion and generosity, we become well-rounded people. Invaluable friendships are forged,” she said.  

“There is immeasurable joy in seeing your beneficiaries’ lives improving. We open our eyes to the gaps in our current society and learn about the ways we can help to ensure that the rising tide truly lifts all boats.”

The Humanist Society (Singapore) will be hosting the 2024 International Humanist Conference on 30-31 August. This event is the most important event in the global Humanist calendar.

Click this link for more details!
Blog, Featured Articles/Letters, Uncategorized

8 Things to Remember When Managing Difficult Members

7 July 2024 by

Managing the Humanist Society can be exhausting. Occasionally, you may encounter a fellow member, volunteer, or Exco member who is overly critical, leading to breakdowns in goodwill and extended conflict. If left unmanaged, this can affect cohesion within the Society and impact mental health.

When this happens, regardless of which “side” you’re on, remember the following:

1. People Here Are Inherently Good

The Humanist Society is a non-profit organization run entirely by volunteers. Most people join out of goodwill, not for financial gain.

They generally seek the same goals as you, though they may have different ideas on how to achieve them.

2. Find Common Ground

If people care enough about the Society to engage in disagreements, they share a foundational connection with it.

In the heat of conflict, remind each other of the common principles you both uphold. It’s not worth damaging relationships over a few disagreements.

3. Communicate Your Feelings

The other party may not realize they are being difficult or that their delivery is hurtful.

When tensions rise, set aside the content of the disagreement and discuss feelings. Share openly how their actions have affected you and suggest better ways to communicate.

4. Seek Help When Needed

The Humanist community is larger than you might think, and the Society should not be reduced to a battleground for two individuals.

If stuck in a prolonged disagreement, seek a third-party opinion to mediate or provide affirmation. People are busy but will respond if you need help.

5. Remember what the majority feels

A small percentage of people cause the majority of challenges. In reality, most Society members are supportive and cooperative.

Don’t get disillusioned by criticism from a few individuals.

Conversely, if the majority is concerned of an issue, then save your energy for those issues.

6. Prioritize Face-to-Face Communication

Nothing beats face-to-face interaction for resolving conflicts and managing difficult behaviors. It fosters empathy and understanding often lost in digital or written communication.

Encourage private discussions at Humanist Society events, and involve a third party if necessary.

7. Assess Relevance

Disagreements over the best way to run HSS can be irrelevant if rival arguments are not feasible due to rules in the Constitution of the Humanist Society, and the Societies Act.

For instance, debates on running a charity are moot because HSS is registered as a Society, not a Charity.

Read the Constitution, and ensure the disagreement is even pertinent.

8. Focus on the Long Term

Some disagreements are too inconsequential to have a lasting impact.

Ask yourself if the issue will matter in five years.

This perspective helps you refocus on what truly matters.

Don’t end up missing the forest for the trees.

Blog, Featured Articles/Letters

Celebrating Humanism: Insights and Future Directions at World Humanist Day 2024

6 July 2024 by

On June 22, 2024, the Humanist Society of Singapore commemorated World Humanist Day  OnePeople.sg.

World Humanist Day is an annual celebration promoting the positive values of humanism and addressing global issues. For 4 hours, attendees engaged in insightful discussions and presentations.

The event commenced with registration at 12:30 PM followed by an opening speech where President Nora provided a brief introduction to the Humanist Society of Singapore (HSS), highlighting its track record and ongoing activities.

Guest speaker Dr. Hakim Young gave his presentation on “Embracing Humanity: Beyond Binary Ideals.” Dr. Young emphasized the importance of kindness and empathy in human interactions, challenging traditional moral frameworks and advocating for a more inclusive society.

Nora presented “Humanistic Perspectives in End-of-Life Issues.” Her presentation explored the humanistic approach to terminal illness, emphasizing dignity, autonomy, and holistic care. Nora highlighted principles such as respecting autonomy in end-of-life decisions and providing compassionate support to individuals and their families facing difficult circumstances.

Founding President Paul Tobin delivered a thought-provoking presentation on the “Future of Humanism.” Paul highlighted global trends, including the rise of non-religious populations worldwide (even in Middle East and Southeast Asia) and in Singapore. He said that in the future, humanism will have to make itself relevant to social justice causes, environmental conservation, and ethical considerations in emerging technologies.

Paul gave three major conclusions: affirming the enduring presence of humanists and non-religious individuals in Singapore, advocating for their role in shaping societal advancements, and addressing emerging ethical challenges posed by technologies like artificial intelligence and transhumanism.

The event had panel discussion at 3:00 PM, where participants explored strategies for the Humanist Society to remain relevant in a rapidly changing world. Discussions revolved around community engagement, education initiatives, and advocacy efforts to promote humanistic values across diverse demographics.

Throughout the afternoon, attendees engaged in thoughtful dialogue, reflecting on the principles of humanism and their application in contemporary issues.

Blog, Featured Articles/Letters